It's been a while since I have posted anything and there's so much to say but I don't know where to start.

First, TTF and I aren't going to work out.

Second, I am reading the diary entries of a particular bassist from a kick ass metal band. The infamous Nikki Sixx's Heroin Diaries from the year of 1987. I love the book. It's so fucked but it keeps me interested and makes me think about a lot of things. I want my father to read it. He may not be a heroin junkie but addiction is addiction right? There is one thing that Nikki has really inspired me to do and that is to begin writing in my diary again. The fact that he was so faithful in writing in his diary (nearly everyday) no matter how fucked up he was on drugs is amazing.

Third and perhaps the most important thing on my mind is typical teenage drama shit. A friend of mine made a stupid mistake, because he couldn't ignore his urge to fuck. No he didn't cheat (I'm proud of him for that) but he did "harmlessly" flirt with a certain girl... A girl that happens to be my boyfriends little sister, who is this guys best friend. Long story short; Girl falls in love with boy. Boy gets feelings for girl. Boy breaks girls hear by saying he can't cheat on his fiance and then girl starts cutting. I have been so pissed off lately at this guy and then the reality of a dark thought of mine finally came to froision when my boyfriend voiced his thoughts.... I'm just like him...

So basically I feel like shit and to keep functioning I have completely shut down all of my emotions... Woot....